We should be angry at the fact that more and more individuals are being taken advantage of and that more and more individuals are having their innocence stolen. It is also upsetting that perpetrators of crimes of sexual assault are not punished more severely.
There is a need to understand that while not all survivors of sexual assault are left with physical scars, all are left with mental/psychological scars.
We expect and need crimes of this nature need to be dealt with in a better manner. We expect that perpetrators will be brought to justice and dealt the full force of the justice system. We expect that survivors of this crime will have support, care, understanding and when the time is a right, be given a chance to share their stories. But sadly, year after year in St. Lucia, nothing changes.
Years later — and too many sexual assault cases after — we have still not taken a single step forward to create a safer St. Lucia. Survivors still have a hard process ahead of them, being made to sit in a waiting room for hours after being violated, still having untrained professionals without empathy to deal with victims and survivors at every stage.
Sexual Violence seems not to be a topic that we care to address. We seem not to care how our system is prepared for dealing with sexually violent crimes, we have nothing in place for dealing with sexually violent criminals, we have no educational dialogue with the youth on the topic, we have very little in place to help survivors/victims/thrivers.
The end result is that we are ill-equipped to deal with sexually violent crimes, but what is worsen, it that we seem not to care at all.
Crimes of a sexual nature should not be covered-up or ignored. Survivors of this crime should not be told to get over it, or in any way silenced. SILENCE is what gives perpetrators the power and confidence to continue abusing. SILENCE is what further victimizes a survivor.
Demanded SILENCE is what says, very loudly, that we don’t care what happens to those who fall victim to this crime. It says we acknowledge the existence of sexually-violent crimes but that we don’t care enough to demand that more be done.
We should be ready and willing to accept what occurs when one is sexually assaulted. It is never a pretty picture and the stories are hard to hear, but just sit back and think for a minute what that says about what the survivor endured and is continuing to deal with.
Part of ensuring that things change is being willing to give survivors a chance to SPEAK UP & OUT about what they have been through, without feeling the need to explain away the actions of their abusers, justify the actions of the abusers, blame the victim for a crime in which they did nothing to cause their assault.
We have to know that living through sexual assault is not an easy thing. We have to know that so much is taken from an individual in that one instance and SILENCING THEM only serves to reiterate the abuse and the abusers power.
WE NEED CHANGE AND IMPROVEMENT WHEN ADDRESSING SEXUAL VIOLENCE. We need to be willing to stand with the survivors and not the abusers. We have to understand that the survivor has nothing to feel guilty or shamed about, because SEXUAL VIOLENCE isn’t about SEX but about POWER.
JOIN US IN TRYING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
Change is needed because survivors of sexual violence deserve our help. Change is needed because survivors of sexual violence never cause their abuse.
Have we forgotten that we are all vulnerable, that there is no immunity where crimes of sexual violence are concerned? Change is needed because we live in a country where crimes of sexual violence are rampant, but policy, support, education and empathy are severely lacking.
Every change in leadership brings no change, no attention to the crimes of sexual violence of the need to do more.
Continuing to exist as we are only creates a greater problem: we are blaming survivors/victims for crimes committed against them. We are telling every perpetrator out there that committing crimes of sexual violence in St. Lucia is okay, because as a society we don’t care. In St. Lucia, we prefer to be ignorant or to pretend that crimes like this don’t occur and that when they do, that invariably the victim caused it.
To the survivors/victims/thrivers: You also need a change. Your story started off badly or there were bad patches in your story of life thus far, but don’t let those parts define or control you.
I know it isn’t easy, I am not pretending that it is. It will be hard. There will be good and bad days. You deserve a light in the tunnel. You deserve peace and happiness. What happens after is up to you.
Again, believe me, when I say it is a process and not an easy one. But it is a necessary process. You get to decide your boundaries, who you let in and who you share your story and journey with, and you decide when you share and how much you share.
I am on this path and it is both scary and empowering. I am learning to take it one day at a time and to decide what happens at every stage.
Sharing your story, being able to finally let out what was done to you takes a huge weight off, it is one of the first steps on your healing journey.
You deserve this.
Survivors of sexual assault need a supportive environment to begin the healing process. They need to believe and feel that they are part of a culture that doesn’t support individuals who commit sexual crimes.
We have to be the difference we want to see in our country. We have to be willing to start to make change.
We, at PROSAF, have acknowledged that violence against women is a problem in St. Lucia and the wider Caribbean. We are here to begin the metamorphosis that is desperately needed. We are always here to listen and if you are not ready to come forward but need a listening ear, feel free to contact us.
Remember that Sexual Assault is something that happens to people, but it does not define them. It is something that was done to them.
Survivors, Victims, Thrivers: remember you are a strong, beautiful, intelligent woman/child/man who has suffered a trauma through no fault of your own. You are not guilty of any crime. Something was done to you against your will.
Sexual Assault is something that happened to you, it does not define you. You are worthy of love and happiness. Always remember that you are not alone, that you have nothing to be ashamed of.
We are taking the baby steps necessary to make it better for all.
KNOW YOU HAVE A SAFE SPACE IN PROSAF.
Yours Sincerely,
Souyenne Dathorne, Velika Lawrence
If you are interested in finding out more information about sexual violence and what you can do as part of this community, please feel free to contact us at:
Email: [email protected] – [email protected]
Facebook: SURVIVING SEXUAL ABUSE IN THE CARIBBEAN: https://www.facebook.com/pages/PROSAF-Surviving-Sexual-Abuse-in-the-Caribbean/165341356853908
Webpage: http://www.prosaf.org (under construction)
Telephone: 1-758-724-9991(sue) 1-758-723-6466(vel)