Many survivors struggle with whether or not things can get better. You struggle with the question as to whether things will get better, whether you can actually begin to face what you have been through, you wonder how hard it will be to begin healing. Making the decision to begin the healing journey is not an easy one. Many recognize that it means opening the wounds that have been sealed shut for many years, it means opening yourself up to the fact that your flashbacks and triggers will become more rampant, that all the thoughts, feelings and memories will come rushing back. To be quite honest it gets worse before it gets better. But it is a necessary step; don’t let your fear paralyze you into accepting that things will not get better, or that your pain and suffering are the only way forward.
The nature of what you are about to delve into coupled with the fact that for so long you have shut yourself off from it will leave you afraid and scared of what you are embarking on. It also means that you will be jumping in all at once; there is no way that I can think of that will be easy for you into beginning the healing process.
What I can recommend is ways to help you get through the tough times;
1) Make sure you have a support system; someone who knows what you have been through and is willing to hold your hand, comfort and support you through the tough times;
2) Find ways to channel your pain and anger; maybe writing, dancing or exercising.
3) Remind yourself that the flashbacks and thoughts are in the past and can no longer hurt you. Take account of where you are, know that this is a memory and that you are no longer in that place.
4) Try some relaxation techniques – breathing, meditating to help calm you down,
5) Set your boundaries; remember this is your healing journey and you come first; don’t feel bad saying no, or having to walk away from something that is too overwhelming for you,
6) Set a safe space; pick somewhere that will help you feel safe and secure that you can retreat to when the memories become too overwhelming,
7) Remember that you were traumatized and that not only your mind was affected, your body remembers the assault. Don’t be hard on yourself for tensing up or being protective of your own body,
8) Always remember that you are strong, that you have done nothing wrong, that you were a victim but you are now a survivo
9) Know that you are worthy of having good things happen to you, you deserve it. For those of you ready to begin healing know that you are making a very positive step. Those who aren’t quite ready don’t pressure yourself, it takes time. You will get there. As always we are here to listen and aid in whatever way we can
. Feel free to contact us.
Yours sincerely,
SouyenneDathorne, Velika Lawrence and Rebecca Hayes
Email: [email protected] – [email protected]
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Telephone: 1-758-724-9991(sue) 1-758-723-6466(vel)