Despite or perhaps because of its abhorrent nature domestic violence is often seen as an intimate act, that by its very nature should be clandestine. But why? Is it to protect the identity and dignity of the victim and perhaps the teasing of minor children or rather is it to protect the attacker and prevent his name from being sullied due to the fact that he or she is our friend?
The recent viral video at the Soufriere mini stadium illustrated the callous nature of us all. The version I saw was edited with the voice of WWE announcers and commentary that suggested a more playful interaction between persons than the violence it depicted. The first hint of the situation was a joke which almost had me assuming that the term ‘shawdy’ was used as a euphemism to describe another male. No one could reference an altercation between a man and a woman and use such a playful description.
When I saw the now viral video I cringed at some of the commentary, many of them of the IYKYK which suggested plausible reasons for the force unleashed at the young lady and then others who queried the videoing of such an act. These are very logical questions to ponder upon but for what reasons- what is their true motive? Are we ready to discuss whether “provocation” is ever a defence in terms of abuse and violence? Would we support it if it was a case of murder or attempted murder? In what other act do we accept provocation as being okay?
Now the viral moment was solely possible due to being captured on video. The question remains, are we opposed to it being viral for the right reasons? Because it is invasive or undignified? That it lacks the full context of the scenario? That we have become a society of voyeurs rather than participating in the society? It started with accidents and homicides and now it appears to have leached into abusive situations. The question of whether we should have even seen the video even under the guise of providing awareness is one to seriously consider. It often amplifies harm and fuels harassment.
Gossip and innuendo have accompanied that video as well as the other one involving a more vocal individual who appeared not to be as conciliatory and reflective as the gentleman in the brunch video felt. Therefore many persons have felt free to pontificate on the matter and attach or subtract blame from the parties involved including friends of the various persons. However, we must realize that domestic violence is not a public spectacle nor is it a private matter as police and other persons often treat it.
In fact, it is a public health issue, a safety issue that requires advocacy, reflection and discretion rather than the indiscretion that permeated via social media.
Have we reached out to friends and family suffering from abuse and sourced help for them? Do we truly care about the wellbeing of others or are their lives just a spectacle for us to view?