By Augustus Henry (PhD)
Scripture: Deuteronomy 6: 1-7
Good foundation, good for restoration
In one of our youth meetings, I was heartily impressed with the level and quality of conversations that came from our young people. For one thing, the recall was something to admire. The fact that some of our youth saw the value in the foundation their parents set for them was worthy of note. Their comments validated the biblical statement: train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, it will not depart from him. Some of the comments reflected the struggles of returning to the path that was previously laid. I admired the honesty of those who felt church was boring and had little meaning for them.
Building a Better Parental Ministry
As much as the meeting was positive, I had some concerns:
The young people made it crystal clear that some conversations outside of church, in secular places, and especially in the home, give children every reason to want to escape church at the first opportunity. One point that they continued to stress was how they came to view church through the eyes of the adults, and that was not positive. The bible says, train up a child in the way he should go… My concern is to what extent are we training? Are the attitudes and conversations among adults, part of that training? And that influence we have on our children; does it end when they turn 18?
As much as we want our children, especially our adult children, to build on a firm foundation, are we demonstrating the effectiveness of a firm foundation in our daily lives? One thing we forget about Pentecost is that the first promised demonstration of the Holy Spirit was not the big miracles, nor was it large baptisms. It was witnessing – the idea of representing Jesus Christ to the world. But let’s look closer. Are we representing him in our homes?
The Bible calls husbands the priests of their household. For mothers, it says, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” – Proverbs 31:26.
Question: When we practice Christianity in the view of the world or our children, does it reflect priestly conduct, motherly wisdom, or something foreign to the kingdom of God?
For analysis, do our attitudes and conversations in our homes build better children?
Build better by exposing God’s mission, not human frailty
I have spoken about situations where folks who are holier than thou in church. You see them ‘praise the roof off’ the building. They pray a storm of blessings down from heaven, but when they leave the pews, they have the pastor, elder, and Sister Mary for lunch. The incessant gossip about fellow church members and leaders is always a concern. And we do that in the presence of the children. If we want our kids to accept the Lord, do not speak about his servants in front of them as though his servants were common criminals.
Many churches have a legacy of not guarding the image, the position the church holds, or the work of the church. Back in the early beginnings of our fellowship, we often held board meetings at the homes of some members where some in those families were not part of our fellowship. As you might know, the most contentious moments of church are manifested at board meetings. But we were quite content to expose our moments of conflicts to non-members – some of them, our most ardent critics. And we were not mindful enough to protect the most intimate business of the church from their ears. That may be the reason some of these people never gave their lives to God. In the same way, we could overexpose our children to the side of the church that grapples with its humanness and imperfections, instead of bringing them to see the process of kingdom-building that God is fashioning in and through the church. Remember, your attitude about church may inspire your children’s attitude towards Christianity, and that may have implications for their eternal salvation.
Building better for our adult offspring
The church has some benefits for us. That is why we are here. However, irrespective of how much good it brings into our lives, we sometimes take home our worst sentiments about God’s people. The image we carry in our heads about the church is what we put on display to the world. The image we take home is the image your family will have about the servants of God. If you think your first elder is arrogant, that is what your family will see. If you think the pastor is a fool, that is the image your children will hold. If you believe that the work of God takes second place in your life, that is exactly what you will be preaching to your family.
If that disposition could be impactful to little children, how much more can that affect adult children? We can demand that the little ones obey our directions about religion, but not our adult offspring. And, if you can’t hide your feelings about the church from your young children, how will you hide from your adult offspring or even the world around you?
Build like it’s Jesus’ building
In Matthew 21, Jesus entered the temple and found that it had been turned into a house of traders, a place of buying and selling. In other situations, he found hypocrites in the temple. One such example is when they criticised him for healing an infirmed woman in the temple. They ostracised him for removing an evil spirit from a young boy in the temple. But for all the evil he found there, he still called it my house! He did not stop there, he exclaimed that “my house shall be called a house of prayer.” He went further saying “my house shall be called a house of prayer for all people.” The Church with all its faults, Paul called it the “body of Jesus Christ.” Jesus himself called it his bride. We have to think of the church as though it is the building of Jesus Christ.
Psalms 127:1-2 Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.
Influence to build a better house
The first step is to influence children for good, irrespective of age.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7, These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Interpretation:
Instead of discussing the deacon’s meanness, speak of the love of Jesus. Instead of gossiping about the praise and worship leader’s short skirt, speak about Jesus’ robe of righteousness. Instead of speaking of the incoherence in the sermon, present the nuggets of truth that could enhance your soul.
They say you find what you are looking for: some go to church and find the frailty of the humans in the church, but others go and find a closer walk with Jesus. I hope you find the latter in church. And, when you go home, bring the commandments of God with you, bring the gospel of Jesus with you, take something home that will build your family spiritually stronger!