By Augustus Henry (PhD)
AS the holidays approach, I think of old Caribbean traditions that brought me joy as a child : six weeks leading up to Christmas, cocoa seeds would be laid out in the sun in preparation for fresh hot cocoa on Christmas morning. And, not too far from those seeds would be ginger and sorrel drying out in the sun getting ready for a new batch of ginger beer. The home-maker ladies would have selected the new carpeting, curtains, tablecloths, and Christmas decoration to adorn their homes come Christmas eve. The butchers would be getting the animals ready. And the whole time Christmas carols, from October 15, would be blaring everywhere you went. Songs like, ‘I’ll Have a blue Christmas without You’, ‘Rocking Around the Christmas Tree’, ‘Let it Snow’ – even though we have no snow in the Caribbean.
And from the Caribbean songs like, ‘Sunshine Christmas’, ‘Natty Dread Christmas’ – Jacob Miller; ‘Santa Looking for a Wife’ – Bindley Benjamin. In the US malls are decorated, Christmas lights everywhere you go, holiday shopping is in the air, the front yard or the houses are decked out in lights and Christmas ornaments.
However, in a season where everyone seems joyous and festive, some may be silently mournful. In a time when some people enjoy the company of family and friends, those without such relationships feel the loneliest. For some, it is the time heartbreaks are felt most intensely. During these times of joy, some remember how things used to be with loved ones who have passed. In those situations, individuals long for unreachable loved ones – those who are overseas and can’t come home – children who are married into other families – fathers and mothers who started new families. It is at such times they remember great relationships that used to be. In such seasons, orphans miss parents, widows miss their dead husbands and widowers miss deceased wives. For those individuals, the heart is a place of grief and despair during such times. Therefore, in time of such vulnerability, maximum care must be taken to protect hearts from destruction.
The real heart
I am not speaking of the contractile muscle in the cavity of your chest that pumps blood throughout your body, but rather, the center of emotion, reasoning, and judgement.
I am speaking of the psychological and spiritual heart. Essentially, what I am asking you to do is to be mindful that people could be vulnerable emotionally and spiritually during festive seasons because broken hearts occur at high rates during times of celebration. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Your dreams, your fear, your anxieties, your forgiveness, your humility, your peace, your generosity, your affection, kindness, love and hate, all stem from the heart; And yes, your relationship with God. The health of your heart is paramount to your spiritual wellbeing. Therefore, a compromised heart will result in a compromised person.
Things that can compromise your heart
In addition to loneliness and loss, there are every-day circumstances that can damage your heart. If you are not careful, economics or insecurity can ruin that emotional center. Not having the means to participate in the festive season as everyone else, could suck hope out of you. As such, your faith becomes weakened; and what is a heart without faith?
In addition, injustice could cause a loss of heart and leave your heart hopeless – rob you of the belief that good things will happen. When the pay is not right, or the raise never came, it seems as though hope is lost – especially when you have been waiting all year to enjoy Christmas.
People who suffer from broken hearts, time after time, over and over again, become faint hearted and end up with weary or tired hearts.
But, what about those of us who have permanently lost valuable relationships? I lost my mother in 2018, my father in 2019, an uncle who was like a father to me in 2021, we lost a niece in 2022, and I lost my youngest sister in 2023, two months ago. And, last week, I lost a dear friend and advisor who called me every Christmas or New Year holiday. I tell you that these losses take a small piece of me every holiday season.
But there is hope. I have a wonderful family who distracts me from any depressive mood that those griefs might bring, but what about people who are not as fortunate as I am, or as you may be?
Combating ills of the heart – Making the Call
We are agents of hope in all seasons. So, this year let’s forget about materialism and be soldiers of hope. So, make that call:
For the fainted, tired, and weary hearts, when you call, tell them, take time to slow down and rest in the lord. Patience is the cure. They that wait upon the lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31). Remember that waiting in this passage refers to dependance on God. Psalms 27:14 – Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.
There is also hope for loss-of-heart. Tell them, when their dreams are deferred or put on hold, that hope in Jesus provides the heart with renewed strength. The song: my hope is built on nothing less but Jesus’ blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest flame but wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
To protect from loss of heart, tell them they need to find ways to maintain or re-ignite hope: Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. There is another scripture that says “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart; lean not to your own understanding. In all of your ways, acknowledge him and he will direct your path.
For those who lost loved ones in Christ, tell them, “For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: (17) Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord” (1 Thess. 4:16). You can use the holiday season to be on a mission of hope for the Lord!
Finally, to recover damaged hearts, aspirations must transcend the natural. It must capture the spiritual and eternal. If focus is on the temporal, the here and now, a broken heart can stick and may even lead to physical or emotional or even spiritual danger, but if we set our mind on things above: Colossians 3:1-2: “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above… set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.