LIFE sometimes calls for us to make decisions that at times may make us uncomfortable. Being an active member of society requires that we stand up against certain actions and demand that more is done. There are times, when as human beings we are expected to do more to protect those close to us, those who can’t do more to protect themselves, those who are too young and too old and therefore depend on us to ensure they are taken care of and that decisions are made that will protect all members of society. Life requires that we make tough decisions, that we have strong opinions about matters regarding our safety and how criminals are dealt with. It sometimes requires that we ruffle some feathers and take steps that while being uncomfortable, will result in positive benefits for all.
Sexual Assault is one of those issues we should all have strong opinions about, we should want all sexual deviants to be locked up and punished, we should want to support and advocate for those who are sexually victimised. We should want to understand the ramifications crimes of this nature have on an individual. We should want to choose to have a better system with regards to how crimes of sexual violence are addressed. International statistics indicate that without a doubt, someone you know is a survivor or victim of sexual violence; those statistics also indicate chances of you being a victim of sexual violence are high. With that, you should want to choose to ensure that sexual violence is a priority, you should want to know that should you or someone you know fall victim to this crime there is a system in place to take care of them.
We often try to prepare, or protect against the things that we believe can happen to us or have happened to us, we tend to believe that sexual assault is one of those things we are immune to. We think it may happen in the world but not to me. None of us is immune to it, many have been victims of this crime and the numbers continue to rise. The statistics never adequately reflect the number of people who have been victims of forced or coerced sexual assault, because many of those victims never actually come forward. They grudgingly chose silence because as a society we continue to choose to ignore this crime, as a society we continue to choose to excuse the perpetrators before adequate evidence has been presented. We chose to blame and accuse the victim/survivor, we chose to be a society that never has their back that never tries to understand what they are going through, have been through and will go through.
We believe that if we choose to ignore or pretend that it doesn’t happen that we will not be affected and not have to make a decision, or take any action. The truth it that ignoring an issue doesn’t make it any less real, it doesn’t make it disappear and when it knocks at your front door not being supportive of someone who confides in you is never the answer. It takes a great deal of courage for a survivor of sexual assault to come forward and confide in someone, after they have been threatened and told no one will believe or help them. It takes a great deal of courage for a survivor to seek help only to find that those who should be helping make them feel culpable in the crimes committed against them. It isn’t too much to ask you to choose to support one who comes forward; it isn’t too much to ask that we punish those who continuously commit these crimes. Sexual assault leaves scars both visibly and invisibly that take a great length of time to heal. Having support and being surrounded by individuals who believe makes the road to recovery a hell of a lot easier.
Choosing to allowing deviants to roam freely creates more victims; it puts more innocent and unsuspecting members of society at risk of being a victim of a sexual crime. It puts our sons and daughters at risk of having their lives turned upside down and their innocence forever stolen. If you haven’t lived it I can’t adequately explain what one who is sexually assaulted goes through, I can’t adequately explain how their sense of safety and trust is forever ruptured. We can’t understand how they never look at life through the same lens again; how they see themselves but can’t merge the image in the mirror with the how they feel. I can’t explain the desire to constantly lock the doors and check to ensure that no one can come in. I can’t explain the need to be in control as every ounce of control was taken from you in that moment. I can’t explain how one waits for the other shoe to drop, how one wonders why this happened, what they did to deserve it, or how they could’ve prevented this. So having not lived it you will not understand how they feel or what they are going through but it doesn’t mean that you can’t support them, that you can’t stand up for them and put their needs first. Choosing the side of the survivor means admitting that this crime severely hurts those who fall victim to it, it means being willing to ensure that one who commits this crime is punished no matter what his relationship, occupation or stature in society. The lines should no longer be blurred when it comes to dealing with survivors of sexual assault or punishing criminals of this crime.
Survivors of sexual assault need a supportive environment to begin the healing process. They need to believe and feel that they are part of a culture that doesn’t support individuals who commit sexual crimes. We have to be the difference we want to see in our country. We have to be willing to start to make change. We, at PROSAF, have acknowledged that violence against women is a problem in St. Lucia and the wider Caribbean. We are here to begin the metamorphosis that is desperately needed. We are always here to listen and if you are not ready to come forward but need a listening ear, feel free to contact us. Remember that Sexual assault is something that happens to people, it does not define them, and it is something that was done to them. Survivors, Victims, Thrivers remember you are a strong, beautiful, intelligent woman/child/man who has suffered a trauma through no fault of your own. You are not guilty of any crime, something was done to you against your will Sexual Assault is something that happened to you, it does not define you. You are worthy of love and happiness. Always remember that you are not alone, that you have nothing to be ashamed of. We are taking the baby steps necessary to make it better for all. KNOW YOU HAVE A SAFE SPACE IN PROSAF. If you are interested in finding out more information about sexual violence and what you can do as part of this community, please feel free to contact us at:
Yours Sincerely,
SouyenneDathorne, Velika Lawrence
Email: [email protected] – [email protected]
Facebook: SURVIVING SEXUAL ABUSE IN THE CARIBBEAN: https://www.facebook.com/pages/PROSAF-Surviving-Sexual-Abuse-in-the-Caribbean/165341356853908
Webpage: http://www.prosaf.org (under construction)
Telephone: 1-758-724-9991(sue) 1-758-723-6466(vel)