Open Letter to Stephen Lester Prescott

THE EDITOR:

Through you, Mr. Editor, I would like to address this open letter to my brother Stephen Lester Prescott (aka SLP):

Dear Stephen
You and I have always been close, inseparable in fact as brothers. But as we entered adulthood, we parted ways in our thinking on many issues, in particular on political issues. You accepted a scholarship to Cuba bestowed in the late nineties by Kenny Anthony and since then, you have become his biggest fan, his most ardent supporter in spite of all the man’s failings and failures. You forgive him everything, even the fact that you have not had a job since your return to St. Lucia four years ago.

Now that you have become a Labour supporter, you have had to follow your leader’s edict and separated yourself from your Flambeau family who still loves you and will always. And we watch week after week how you so carefully craft articles of propaganda against the UWP leadership whilst never finding any fault whatsoever with the Labour party. Your excuses are legendary and John Grisham has nothing on your ability to create pure fiction. In fact when we read you waxing poetic week after week about your hero, one cannot help but think that Kenny Anthony himself could not do a better job if he were to write such pieces himself. Am sure he could, if only he weren’t so busy turning the economy around and creating such effective avenues for investment. Mama is so sad that with these writing skills you have been unable to secure any employment. It’s a real pity STEP and NICE don’t have any openings for such a talent as yours. Mama is even sadder about the fact that she and I have both lost our jobs at Bank of Saint Lucia, but then again, you know that. After all, jobs are always lost when the economy is rebounding, right? Our sister Lucia as you know has committed suicide – probably the shock of the quick recovery of our economy! Or it could be the fact that she was relieved of her civil servant’s duties as she was deemed to be “on the other side” and hasn’t been able to find another job in three years all the while having five months to feed.

Our cousin Maryanna Williams who used to write for Kenny has now been silenced as her propaganda was not effective enough, not hard-hitting enough and her attacks on the UWP were not personal enough. But then again you know that, as you were the author of her fate. Anyway, I am sure she is enjoying her new post at the New York Consulate working alongside Leo Clarke’s wife. I have heard that the foreign governments are thrilled to have persons of this calibre and expertise such as Mrs. Clarke (after all, am sure her secretarial skills are being put to good use pushing paper over there), fashion designer extraordinaire Shazi – such a loss to the fashion world – and of course, his direct superior, the Ambassador of Bikinis. Surely the French must see how seriously we view our diplomatic relations with them. I am not sure I agree with you that it is because of this solid relationship, already so strongly cemented that the French ambassador saw no need to attend our Independence Celebrations but then we rarely agree these days. After all, you still think we’re having “better days”. But don’t worry, am sure there’ll be a job at an embassy or consulate for you soon – so don’t be concerned about the lack of qualifications – these days it’s seen as a plus, once you’re on their side.

But I don’t want to waste too much time on this – after all, we’ll see each other soon, right, at election time. I gather that’s not too far off based on the way your leader has been acting, obviously terrified at the thought of facing an Allen Chastanet-led UWP. It would be amusing to watch his antics of desperation if it all weren’t so pathetic. I understand you have Kenny’s ear and in fact, have the greatest influence on him. Please remind him that the eyes of the world are on him when he is yelling incomprehensible gibberish on his platforms and debasing the office of the leader of this nation. Please tell him that the “monster” people are afraid of is him and his economic policies. And please point out to him that the jig is up.

Your beloved brother
Ulric Walker Prescott