Q: Dear Regina, my mom does not like to do anything to keep busy. She just wants to stay in her room all day. Should I just let her stay in bed all day?
A: This is a common question I receive. Although it is common and accepted for some elderly to stay home and relax and watch TV all day, this behaviour and activity will cause a quicker decline in your loved one. Meaning she will become more dependent on you to physically move her when needed.
I strongly recommend encouraging them to come out of the room and engaging them with some activity that is worthy to them. If they seem apathetic, get an evaluation of depression and see what can help. Get a check-up that there are no other causes that are affecting their energy levels.
Otherwise learn what you can about techniques to encourage persons to come out of their room. The other option is to spend time in their room with them. Learn their likes and dislikes. Sometimes we do not have the history of the person so we have to learn them. Learn different positive approaches to care. Here are 10 things you can try from a Memory Care Home in America. How might you translate this to your situation? Certain activities may work better at different times of day. Understand that the person’s level of interest or involvement may decline as Alzheimer’s progresses.
1. Sing songs or play music.
2. Do arts and crafts, such as painting or knitting. Keep tools and patterns simple. (maybe dominoes)
3. Organize household or office items, particularly if the person used to take pleasure in organizational tasks.
4. Clean around the house. Sweep the patio, wipe the table, fold towels or try other household tasks that help the person feel a sense of accomplishment.
5. Tend the garden or visit a botanical garden.
6. Read the newspaper.
7. Look at books the person used to enjoy.
8. Cook or bake simple recipes together.
9. Work on puzzles; Play dominoes
10. Watch family videos.
Q: Dear Regina, I have been caring for my dad for two years and recently have hired two caregivers to help. They do overlap with time, but that is to assure my dad is not alone and communication is exchanged on what needs to be completed for the day. One comes in at 6:00 a.m. and is off at 2:00 p.m. and the other one comes in at 1:00 p.m. and is off at 9:00 p.m. Monday through Friday and I care for him on the weekends. This routine has worked for me. I have a problem now as the caregivers do not get along anymore and they both are complaining about each other. I really do not know who is telling the truth or not. All I care is that my dad is ok. My dad cannot tell me. I spend time with each of them daily before I am off to work or their time ends. I don’t like the quarreling. I do not like dealing with this kind of rubbish. Is there an easy way to deal with this?
A: Conflict with caregivers can cause a lot of grief. Is there a chance you can talk to both of them at the same time and explain to them that their attitude towards each other will affect your dad? Ask them how do they plan to solve this conflict? Managing your staff takes patience and empower them to resolve some of their own issues by seeing it from another point of view. Is the issue personal and were feelings hurt? It is not healthy to work with someone you do not like or angry with. They must resolve it or it will fester in their performance, subtly at first and grow. This will affect your dad. Give them a week to resolve it. If they cannot figure out a way, one or both will have to go. Your dad cannot defend himself. You are his best chance. Finding the perfect care staff can be a challenge. Sometimes they may need training instead of replacing them. It depends on the situation which is best. I would suggest bringing them together and talking about the consequences of their frustration toward each other. You can suggest that they get training to continue working with you to understand dementia care, or you can sponsor them for the training. Call the Saint Lucia Alzheimer’s Association for more information at 758-486-4509.
Send questions to [email protected] / 758-486-4509