Of Dis and Dat! Part 13

YOU really want to keep this thing going, don’t you, dear readers? So, okay, what did I say to my British friend about his take on that section of the SLMDA? And by the way, pausing for a moment, you notice that I’ve begun to use the phrase ‘that section of the SLMDA’ or ‘a section of the SLMDA’ instead of just ‘the SLMDA’ as I previously characterised the group, without thinking. Well, it only took objections, in passing, from a handful of individual medics when we met at various times and in various spaces, to make me be more specific in naming the group under discussion. It’s certainly the more correct thing to do.

So let’s take it from the top again. You want to know what I said to my friend about his take on that section of the SLMDA. So far so good? Well, I was forced to put him right. I immediately sprang to the group’s defence. I said, “Now, you know I’m a fan of your humour and your theories, but for sure you’ve got this one wrong. I would never ever refer to that group of medics as “closet communists”. There is nothing communistic about its members whether closeted or otherwise. And I don’t say so because I know what’s in their minds and hearts, but because I am going by what St Lucians know and can see.”

I continued, “I’ll have you know that those medics are a highly privileged lot, many of whom have not one, but two lucrative jobs, one paid for out of the public purse of Saint Lucia and the other by the private patients who choose to visit their private practices. And, by the way, there is a standing ‘joke’ about them (and others similarly blessed), and it is this. It would appear that their hours at both arenas somehow coincide, and therefore the response of the frustrated private patient-in-waiting is to wonder if that category of medic has been gifted with the power of bilocation or what, which is of course not to say that there is necessarily anything inherently sacred or godly about any of them. Hey, I said, not necessarily. Perhaps, just perhaps, there could be.”

And I continued, “You see what I mean? That’s why I said your assessment was mistaken. Not only because it was hardly what was intended in my piece, but mostly because the facts on display do not bear it out, and consequently no one would buy it.”

But, readers, getting back to the now as I write, I look up at my beautiful statue of Saint Jude. I have been a devotee of his since my teens, what with his being the patron saint of hopeless cases and all. (Would you believe I was a bit of a handful in school? That’s right. I was never one of the goody-goodies, and would you also believe that whenever I say as much to those who did not know it, and I’m expecting them to show some measure of disbelief or alarm, they simply say something like, “Why am I not surprised?” or “Oh, I can well believe that.”)

Back on script. As I write, I recall that Saint Jude possessed the gift of bilocation, as did the possibly better-known Padre Pio. Then there’s another of his gifts, which I recall, that of locution, and I am beginning to think there might be some uncanny link between my patron saint, St Jude, and the convenient St Jude’s fanatics, so I’ve just looked him up and note that he also possessed/possesses the gifts of incorruptibility and the odour of sanctity among others and I’ve decided unequivocally, “Awa! Incorruptibility, whether before or after death? Uh-uh! And the odour of sanctity?“Nah! No way! Forget it! The Verdict: No resemblance whatsoever! I’m sure my friends at the St Jude Chapel in Bocage will back me up on that one.

And now, Ad Alert: Do visit the St Jude Chapel in the basement of the ruins of a one-time art gallery run by a Haitian female then married to a wealthy Saint Lucian, and bought over by the Catholic church with the intention of making it into a Mother House for retired priests, something which never materialised. However, I assure you that Saint Jude awaits your visit any Sunday for Mass at 11 a.m. You will be made welcome by the members of this small but vibrant Catholic community.