Conspiracy Theory Alert

WELL now, the balls are all up in the air, aren’t they?!

We have a damning report hanging over the heads of politicians, business people and our very own law enforcers. We have a police force that is, for want of a better word…wounded and our little bubble of peace has been spectacularly popped with a sudden surge of extreme violence over the course of one week.

Isn’t this all just convenient for the criminals? And there we were thinking that they’re all just a bunch of brainless buffoons who have no value for human life, think like Neanderthals who just want to club each other to death rather than resolve issues amicably and respectfully and finally that they’re a bunch of spoilt and impatient children who want what they want, when they want it regardless of how they get it, whether it be food, clothes, money or revenge.

They certainly know how to capitalise on a small window opportunity and strike whilst the iron is hot. And here’s where I get even more upset about the current state, our good, genuine and hardworking police officers (yes I believe they exist and in fact make up the majority of the RSLPF) are now tasked with picking up the pieces and the slack of their crooked colleagues and so, they are now left with an overwhelming work load and immense stress.

Now, here’s where my conspiracy theory kicks in. As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, the damning report, being the IMPACS Report of course, implicated not only the police but business people and politicians as well. So why do I get the gut feeling that this recent surge in violent crime which now has the nation paralysed with fear is just like a magician’s sleight of hand to distract the masses and deflect attention away from the mother of all problems which lies beneath?

Think about it. Yes, there is still talk of the IMPACS Report (which is still mainly focused on the police force) but presently, all eyes and conversations are directed at the recent murders…doesn’t that strike anyone as fishy?

I am puzzled as to why a normally vocal United Workers Party and St. Lucia Labour Party have seemingly taken “Moo Moo Pills” over the implications of the report and we’ve hardly heard a peep out of them about it.

Yeah, yeah, one or two press releases were sent out, but even those were literally superficial scratching on the tip of a monstrous iceberg which has 90% of its secrets hidden below the surface.

I know that every nation has its secrets but I never thought I’d see the day that tiny St. Lucia could pack a secret that could possibly match the U.S.’s Area 51 conspiracy or the mysterious moon landing…heck, our secret is so huge that it attracted the attention and subsequent forceful action from the great U.S. itself.

Back to my conspiracy theory, I’ll just come out with it. What if, just what if the same politicians and business persons implicated in the report with their butts on the line are the ones orchestrating the violence from their high perches?

Some people are by now rolling their eyes, kissing their teeth and asking a sarcastic “why?” Well, if I knew the answer then this article wouldn’t be a conspiracy THEORY would it? But let’s just say for argument sake, it’s a way for them to buy time to untangle themselves from the web that they’re stuck in. Can anybody interject and tell me that I’m absolutely wrong? This is not a challenge. It is a request and please if anyone can respond, include information on what is really going on, please.

I know that there are people out there who have all the answers but they are scared to death to reveal them but here’s me throwing wild suggestions to the wind…can’t you find some random computer to type up what you know, email it to a fake address, print out that email and make it pass through a number of hands then have it posted to someone brave enough to blow the lid on this can of vipers. I know that my suggestions are far-fetched but hey, at least I’m trying, right?

You know that frustrating feeling where something shady is going on around you and you know it but you just don’t have the rock solid proof to jump up and say “AH HA, GOTCHA”. Like in a relationship when you know that your partner is cheating but you just don’t have the evidence, so you’re left looking like a paranoid psycho trying to uncover the truth? Well, this is kind of how I feel, except whilst I know that St. Lucia is being cheated on, I have absolutely no clue how or why and it’s driving me BONKERS.

One thing for sure is that a desperate person will do whatever it takes to get themselves out of a jam and please don’t be naïve and think that the people implicated in the report are not powerful enough to get this kind of job that I mentioned before done.

Again, I’m asking the politicians who flood our email inboxes and the news outlets with press releases at the drop of a dime to say something about this important matter and to stop being so “hush, hush” about it because your silence is not golden. In fact, it’s rotten and is sparking more suspicions your way.

And here’s a tip for our officers getting beaten with the buckle end of the belt…take a page out of the criminals’ book and capitalise on an opportunity whilst you can. I know you guys are licking your wounds right now but you should really use this moment of disarray to round up your top investigators…the ones who are not corrupt of course and find out who is really behind all the crime…heck, call in the Jamaicans again. You know you can do it and I have faith in you guys…redeem yourselves.