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05th
June 2010
To Flirt
Or Not To Flirt
Sherlana Ernest
We
see it all the time. A guy or lady, whom we
know has a spouse, talking to a member of the
opposite sex. Many times to an onlooker, especially
one with a somewhat twisted mind, talking to
another person who is not your significant other
is considered to be flat- out cheating! In some
cases it may actually be innocent, however,
insecure persons may have a hard time believing.
Because, what if he/she was just having an interesting
conversation with someone other than their boo?
Of course, the response would be ‘that’s
what they all say’! For all the onlookers
and spying girlfriends, there are ways to know
and signs to heed. As with anything concerning
human behaviour, there are signs that give away
whether someone is cheat-flirting or just regular-flirting.
But please remember, don’t see what’s
not there!
According to Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen, a freelance
writer for Suite101.com, five signs of harmless
flirting or fun flirting include the following:
• You tease or talk to friends or colleagues
of the opposite sex in front of your partner.
• You don’t make romantic innuendos
or promises to others.
• You make eye contact for short periods
of time (in other words, you don’t stare
meaningfully into someone’s eyes for long
moments).
• You laugh at jokes, tease, or nudge
your flirting partner in unsuggestive ways.
• You don’t lie to your partner
about who you spend time with.
• You treat everyone the same way. You
don’t reserve certain squeezes or moments
for a particular person.
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The
previously listed signs come in handy if you
want to know if you are going overboard in the
flirting department. And if these aren’t
enough, Pawlik-Kienlen also provided signs of
emotional cheating. The following signs, if
they persist, may harm and not help serious
relationships:
• You often have long lunches or extended
drinks after work with colleagues of the opposite
sex - and you don't often talk about business.
• You discuss your work problems thoroughly
at work with colleagues of the opposite sex,
leaving nothing to talk about with your spouse.
• You share jokes and gossip with friends
or colleagues of the opposite sex, not with
your partner.
• You spend as much time buying the right
gift for a friend or colleague of the opposite
sex as you do for your spouse.
• You share intimate issues with friends
of the opposite sex, not your partner.
Experts maintain that ‘when a spouse places
his or her primary emotional needs in the hands
of someone outside the marriage, it breaks the
bond of marriage just as adultery does’.
It’s true that outside friendships can
be good to balance out relationships, however,
becoming emotionally dependent on someone other
than your spouse is not at all good.
Persons think that it is only when physical
contact is involved, it should be stamped as
cheating. It is not so. In addition, it is true
that every relationship is different, and that
everyone has a limit. Yet, the bottom line is
whatever is dishonest should by right fall under
the cheating blanket!
Discuss
Story
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